Paul, I think you said it best and summed it up by saying “there are no victims, only volunteers”.
If men put up with disrespect, they are not going to have that relationship very long. And since so many men allow it, we have the disastrous divorce rate. Among other things like a totally corrupt Anti-family court. Just like our rouge government,
It has often suprised me to see the extent to which a man will be disrespected by his own wife if he tolerates it. My best explanation for this is that she actually WANTS to be corrected.
Otherwise, why would you treat the man you chose to spend your whole life with like that?
One issue is the extent to which disrespect is normalized in our society, I have also seen men of God be put down heavily by their wives in their own home while I was visiting them.
So much so that I felt the need to correct their wives, which I didn't do ofcourse.
The issue is there are millions of prophets of romance, and a lot less prophets of truth.
Paul, I think your tops and I agree with most everything you say and have said here. However, I'm perplexed by one thing that I hope I am misinterpreting. The notion that it's controlling for a MAN to not want his wife wearing revealing clothing. I know you have said that "wo-MEN have hijacked MEN'S sexual emotions long before pornography" And I also noticed your complements to Steve Brule on his wonderful article about 'The abuse of constant titillation' I am of the opinion that a wife who wants to wear half naked clothing is everything we've discussed about disrespect. And a husband who would tolerate it is everything we've discussed about failing as a MAN/head/ And I get that we shouldn't need to breathe down her neck. BUT there should be an understanding that she is to dress modest, and he should reject her if she doesn't. This is part of MEN being leaders and is necessary to clean up society. Teaching wo-MEN to cover. ..................(I hope we can still like each other to spite our different nuances)
Great point, Joseph. I wasn't clear enough and I'll address it in the final segment. What I should have added to that part is that I chose someone who didn't need to be told to not dress like a whore. I assumed that was implied for all listeners, but should have been more plainspoken about it. Thanks!
THANK YOU SO MUCH! I GET YOU! If you're in a relationship in the 1rst place, it's a given she's the closest thing to a unicorn and you don't need to breathe down her neck because it's two mature adults who are worthy of each other and who have the same sensibilities.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR CLARIFYING I FEEL VERY RELIEVED!
What if standing up for yourself in all cases and to the fullest extent results in divorce and your children won't have a dad around and are getting raised by the woman?
Wouldn't God expect the man to endure what is described in Proverbs, thereby self-sacrifice himself for the children?
That's a good point about men who micromanage their wives.
Very closely related to that is men who pound really hard on the Bible's command for wives to submit to their husbands.
Yes, the Bible does command that wives should submit to their husbands in everything (I'm not at all trying to diminish the force of that command), but the strong impression I got from this particular type of men is that they have some deep insecurities that get triggered whenever they feel (emphasis on the "feel", because it is often not the wive's intention at all) that their wives are threatening their authority.
These types of men usually are quite disagreeable with most people (men and women included), they can often be quite derogatory to their wives, they are often bossy, and they have an attitude of "my way or the highway".
They usually produce one of two types of daughters: a super bossy and adversarial woman, or a women that submits to that treatment but then expects her future husband to be just as much of a control freak as her dad otherwise he is considered to be a "bad leader" and "not masculine".
The women these men marry are usually extremely passive, and generally lack self respect (after all, what other type of person would willingly be married to a person like this).
The wives often enable bad treatment on the part of their husbands and they silently tolerate demeaning treatment from them as well.
I personally know multiple men who would fit into the afore mentioned category (to different degrees), so I simply speak from what I've observed.
I think simply treating men and women as equal solves most of these problems.
I'm not at all speaking about the faux equality that is proposed by feminists; I'm talking about a true equality where women are treated like adults and are expected to contribute to the family, the church, and to society like adults.
For example: they can help contribute to the family finances like Proverbs 31 says, they are hard workers (not fragile wall flowers) like Proverbs 31 says, they are expected to contribute to the dirty work and not just to the easier work (again, like Proverbs 31 says).
They will be viewed and respected as mature adults (not stupid children), and they will be viewed as someone to be honored (just like fellow men) and not be viewed as someone to boss around and treat poorly.
With all of this said, the above mentioned men are few and far between (unlike feminists and blue-pill conservatives would have you believe). Far more common is the type of man that is on the opposite end of the spectrum.
I also understand that this dynamic often appears in reverse (probably far more often given how often Proverbs talks about contentious women), but Paul's comment was about controlling men in this video.
Paul, I think you said it best and summed it up by saying “there are no victims, only volunteers”.
If men put up with disrespect, they are not going to have that relationship very long. And since so many men allow it, we have the disastrous divorce rate. Among other things like a totally corrupt Anti-family court. Just like our rouge government,
You get what you tolerate.
Indeed!
Great points again Paul,
It has often suprised me to see the extent to which a man will be disrespected by his own wife if he tolerates it. My best explanation for this is that she actually WANTS to be corrected.
Otherwise, why would you treat the man you chose to spend your whole life with like that?
One issue is the extent to which disrespect is normalized in our society, I have also seen men of God be put down heavily by their wives in their own home while I was visiting them.
So much so that I felt the need to correct their wives, which I didn't do ofcourse.
The issue is there are millions of prophets of romance, and a lot less prophets of truth.
Thank you for your work.
Proverbs 5:3:4.
For the lips of a strange women drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil.
But her end is bitter as Wormwood, sharp as a two edged sword.
Man this flies in the face of feminism. Finding a female in todays society with this mindset is like looking for a needle in a haystack.
Paul, I think your tops and I agree with most everything you say and have said here. However, I'm perplexed by one thing that I hope I am misinterpreting. The notion that it's controlling for a MAN to not want his wife wearing revealing clothing. I know you have said that "wo-MEN have hijacked MEN'S sexual emotions long before pornography" And I also noticed your complements to Steve Brule on his wonderful article about 'The abuse of constant titillation' I am of the opinion that a wife who wants to wear half naked clothing is everything we've discussed about disrespect. And a husband who would tolerate it is everything we've discussed about failing as a MAN/head/ And I get that we shouldn't need to breathe down her neck. BUT there should be an understanding that she is to dress modest, and he should reject her if she doesn't. This is part of MEN being leaders and is necessary to clean up society. Teaching wo-MEN to cover. ..................(I hope we can still like each other to spite our different nuances)
Great point, Joseph. I wasn't clear enough and I'll address it in the final segment. What I should have added to that part is that I chose someone who didn't need to be told to not dress like a whore. I assumed that was implied for all listeners, but should have been more plainspoken about it. Thanks!
THANK YOU SO MUCH! I GET YOU! If you're in a relationship in the 1rst place, it's a given she's the closest thing to a unicorn and you don't need to breathe down her neck because it's two mature adults who are worthy of each other and who have the same sensibilities.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR CLARIFYING I FEEL VERY RELIEVED!
What if standing up for yourself in all cases and to the fullest extent results in divorce and your children won't have a dad around and are getting raised by the woman?
Wouldn't God expect the man to endure what is described in Proverbs, thereby self-sacrifice himself for the children?
Excellent question. I'll deal with that in the final post. Thanks!
More excellence, Paul! One of your best.
Thanks, Kirb!
That's a good point about men who micromanage their wives.
Very closely related to that is men who pound really hard on the Bible's command for wives to submit to their husbands.
Yes, the Bible does command that wives should submit to their husbands in everything (I'm not at all trying to diminish the force of that command), but the strong impression I got from this particular type of men is that they have some deep insecurities that get triggered whenever they feel (emphasis on the "feel", because it is often not the wive's intention at all) that their wives are threatening their authority.
These types of men usually are quite disagreeable with most people (men and women included), they can often be quite derogatory to their wives, they are often bossy, and they have an attitude of "my way or the highway".
They usually produce one of two types of daughters: a super bossy and adversarial woman, or a women that submits to that treatment but then expects her future husband to be just as much of a control freak as her dad otherwise he is considered to be a "bad leader" and "not masculine".
The women these men marry are usually extremely passive, and generally lack self respect (after all, what other type of person would willingly be married to a person like this).
The wives often enable bad treatment on the part of their husbands and they silently tolerate demeaning treatment from them as well.
I personally know multiple men who would fit into the afore mentioned category (to different degrees), so I simply speak from what I've observed.
I think simply treating men and women as equal solves most of these problems.
I'm not at all speaking about the faux equality that is proposed by feminists; I'm talking about a true equality where women are treated like adults and are expected to contribute to the family, the church, and to society like adults.
For example: they can help contribute to the family finances like Proverbs 31 says, they are hard workers (not fragile wall flowers) like Proverbs 31 says, they are expected to contribute to the dirty work and not just to the easier work (again, like Proverbs 31 says).
They will be viewed and respected as mature adults (not stupid children), and they will be viewed as someone to be honored (just like fellow men) and not be viewed as someone to boss around and treat poorly.
With all of this said, the above mentioned men are few and far between (unlike feminists and blue-pill conservatives would have you believe). Far more common is the type of man that is on the opposite end of the spectrum.
I also understand that this dynamic often appears in reverse (probably far more often given how often Proverbs talks about contentious women), but Paul's comment was about controlling men in this video.
Great work as always Paul!
Well said, Seth. Very well said. We have to keep our side of the street clean.